One of the requests I get from my passengers while in traffic is to regal them tales from memorable or shocking cab rides that I have had. I don't have to think very long or hard as it seems like the latest and greatest seems to have happened the previous day. So I decided to share with you the highlights. I will use no names to protect the innocent.....ME,...because the last word I want to hear is "I read what you wrote about me".As a cab driver for several years I have seen plenty of shenanigans from behind the wheel of my cab. Some of these stories are relied to me by other drivers and when you say to yourself "now I've seen it all!" Something comes along to top it. I'll update these remembrances as I have time. I think I will labile these so easier for me to list and the readers to find. Way too much to drink, smoke or and etc..,As you may guess, picking up passengers from the local public houses (pub) is a daily occurrence. Often we are called by the bartenders or wait staff who in their professional opinion can tell when a customer is having a good time and when the good time has had them.These folks we pick up from the bars are in various stages of smashed. One of my particular favorites was 3 woman that a bar staff member brought out to the cab and tossed into the back seat, with a suffocating smell of alcohol and I as the driver was told by one of two staff that accompanied them out "their going to Sedro Woolley". As I drove toward Sedro I could hear giggles and snorts from the back seat of the van, as I grow closer to the city limits things became much quieter in the back of the van. As I checked my rearview mirror and could see 3 heads all tilted to the right in an unconscious state. "Where are we going ladies?" No answer. "Hello, where do you want me to drive you to?" Silence. I called the bar where I had picked them up and asked if they knew a more sacrifice address for these ladies and all I was told was that they came in very drunk and Sedro was all that could be understood between slurs. I Yelled louder and louder to get at least one of their attention with zero luck. So what are my options, I'm not putting my hands on them to try to wake them nor my hands in their purses to look for identification, There was one choice, off to the police station, I can imagine the cops spend a great deal of there time going out and finding drunk people and now they are having them delivered, so I was a very welcome sight, not. I explained that they wont wake up and that they where talking when they got in, conveniently, the fire dept. was next door and was summonsed. Upon there arrival, the EMT checked the passengers and although very intoxicated seemed ok by fire department and where able to get them to answer some questions, although where they where going wasn't one of them. The Police took over and found ID in their purse and told me "take them here". Back to Burlington, short distance from where I picked them up. Once we arrived at the address obtained by the police, you guessed it the three where passed out again and no waking them. There where no lights on in the house (of course it was 1:45 am) and I didn't even know if any of the ladies lived there. "9-1-1 what is your emergency", what else could I do? While I waited listening to the snoring and staring at the ever raising taxi meter, I was suddenly struck by a new sound, puking. To wrap this story up, 1 passenger taken to hospital, 1 taken to jail for trying to take a swing at me for asking to be paid and last one slide into the house during all the commotion and turned out the lights and wouldn't answer the door. So, bottom line, I spent rest of the night cleaning inside of cab. My pay for the evening was minus $120.( fuel, cleaning supplies and vehicle lease). 3's a crowd Criminal factorWhile driving cab I have come across folks who are looking to sell me thing, once in a while its something good and raises an eyebrow. One such time I picked up a man and woman at a local drug store. Once inside the cab I listen as the conversation between them continued from before I arrived, how they were in financal straights and where were they going to get the money. Very often these conversations in the back seat are carried on for my benifit, I slow the cab down and asked the very important question (at least to the driver) "do you guys have the money for this cab ride?" They relied yes we do, then went on to explain that they needed $100 and had a 60 inch LCD TV that they wanted to sell to get the money and did I know anyone who would be interested. I know a good deal when I hear one and I inquired further as to age and condition, I was told that when we got to their destination I could see for myself. It was very dark upon our arrival and the male passenger got out of the cab and ran up a very dark street in a country neighborhood. I asked the female passenger who remained in the back seat counting out change to pay the cab fare, "where is he going?, her reply was "to go and get the TV". I told her that I thought I would go inside and see the TV, Isn't heavy? She assured me that it was very thin and very light wieght, While I continued the conversation with her I saw a dark figure running down the street carrying a large TV dragging cables and cords behind it. I rolled down my window as the man aproached and in the background I can hear a male voice ylling "that's my TV!". Before I can ask if the man at my window had stollen the TV, he drops it on the ground and it shatters. At this point the man that was holding the TV looks behind him in the direction of a now barely visable person yelling about his TV and runs to the other side of the cab and dives into a thick bushes along a hill on the side of the road. Immediatly followed by the woman in the back seat jumping out of the cab and joined her friend running through tall bushes. Arriving shotly there after the yelling man is in my face screaming "I'm gonna kill you", I tried to assure him that I wasn't involved and just a cab driver who dropped two people off, "what people?" he yelled. I replied "they ran in the bushes", he then looks at me strangly and said "sure they did" and he attempts to try and drag me from the cab and why I always have my car door locked , I put the cab in gear and sped away.robbed Catch all A recent call requesting a cab to a local senior living facility, upon arrival a elderly woman who I would guess was in her mid 80's slowly shuffled out to the cab and greeted me with a "Hello sonny". She was very nice and kindly and our conversations where ones that you would normally had, she told of how the area had changed, how she lived in the valley her whole life, that her husband of 50 years had recently put her in the retirement facility he could have affairs at their home. I didn't think much of the comments especially since was stated in such a calm ladylike manor. Upon arrival of a very nice country home, my passenger asked to please wait and she would be right back. I could see an elderly gentleman quickly shuffle to the door in an attempt to block his wife from entering but his wife forced the half open door open by wedging her body into the gap. I was strunned and as you continue to read I will refer to being in a no win situation, I could head the old gentleman yelling "help my taxi driver, help me", as I constipated my options I found myself slowly turning up the radio. I continues watching unable to look away as I could see my passenger present a broom and start chopping wood on her husband, At this point I felt ok this is getting serious and reached for my phone to call 911 when my passenger came out of the house heading toward the cab, she no longer had the broom in her hand so my anxiety (and flash backs of my own childhood) decreased. The elderly woman got back in the cab and said "I'm sorry I took so long deary, you can take me back" , again kindly small talk took place between the two of use then once we arrived at our starting point, she paid me and bid me a good day.MongoTrip to MtCasino The conversations I find it's part of my job as a cab driver to be pleasant, friendly and to try and knowledgeably participate in conversations my passengers may want to have (almost like I work on tips). I try my best to keep the conversations in "the here and now", but on slow nights I will follow the rabbit down the rabbit hole just to see where its going. Case in point the gentleman I picked up one evening who proclaimed upon getting into the back seat, he needed to go to a drug store to get some first aid supplies. As I pulled away I ask what I feel was a logical retort to his statement and asked "did you hurt yourself?" My conservatively dress, middle aged man who I had picked up from a very affluent neighborhood stated "I was just abducted by aliens AGAIN and there are always a few bumps and bruises when they return me to my home.